Psalm 42: Fighting the Dark

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In this Psalm King David describes his inner struggle. He hears the voices of others, internalized in his mind. These voices are making him doubt himself. Making him fall into depression. Making it hard to even enjoy a celebration. Like the seductive hiss of the snake in the garden of Eden, the mind can play tricks on us, and here, David is aware of how his mind is working against him. He asks twice: “What is this sorrow, my soul?” 

In his soul’s yearning and “hoping for G-d” a storm rises. David works his way around his mental storm and tries to sooth his soul through this Psalm, like a mother soothing her child. He tells himself “more gratitude we will praise the salvations of His presence” - ‘don’t worry my dear soul, we will keep expressing gratitude, we will find a brighter day in His presence.’ In essence, this is a description of how King David fought his internal beetle to leave his darkness behind and step into the light. 

לַמְנַצֵּ֗חַ מַשְׂכִּ֥יל לִבְנֵי־קֹֽרַח׃

For the conductor of the wise,

For the sons of Korah

כְּאַיָּ֗ל תַּעֲרֹ֥ג עַל־אֲפִֽיקֵי־מָ֑יִם כֵּ֤ן נַפְשִׁ֨י תַעֲרֹ֖ג אֵלֶ֣יךָ אֱלֹקים׃

As a deer is longing over a stream of water,

So will my soul long for You, G-d.

צָמְאָ֬ה נַפְשִׁ֨י ׀ לֵאלֹקים֮ לְאֵ֪ל חָ֥י מָתַ֥י אָב֑וֹא וְ֝אֵרָאֶ֗ה פְּנֵ֣י אֱלֹקים׃

My soul thirsts for G-d, for a living Divinity,

When will I come and see the face of G-d?

הָֽיְתָה־לִּ֬י דִמְעָתִ֣י לֶ֭חֶם יוֹמָ֣ם וָלָ֑יְלָה בֶּאֱמֹ֥ר אֵלַ֥י כָּל־הַ֝יּ֗וֹם אַיֵּ֥ה אֱלֹקיךָ׃

My tear was for me the bread of sustenance day and night,

Speaking to me throughout the day; where is Your G-d?

אֵ֤לֶּה אֶזְכְּרָ֨ה ׀ וְאֶשְׁפְּכָ֬ה עָלַ֨י ׀ נַפְשִׁ֗י כִּ֤י אֶֽעֱבֹ֨ר ׀ בַּסָּךְ֮ אֶדַּדֵּ֗ם עַד־בֵּ֥ית אֱלֹ֫קים בְּקוֹל־רִנָּ֥ה וְתוֹדָ֗ה הָמ֥וֹן חוֹגֵֽג׃

This I recall and my soul comes pouring out over me,

For when I will pass by I will mindfully walk to the house of G-d,

Where in a singing voice and gratitude the masses are celebrating.

מַה־תִּשְׁתּ֬וֹחֲחִ֨י ׀ נַפְשִׁי֮ וַתֶּהֱמִ֪י עָ֫לָ֥י הוֹחִ֣ילִי לֵֽ֭אלֹקים כִּי־ע֥וֹד אוֹדֶ֗נּוּ יְשׁוּע֥וֹת פָּנָֽיו׃

What is this sorrow, my soul? 

And over me you uproar, hoping for G-d,

For more gratitude we will praise the salvations of His presence.

אֱ‍ֽלֹקי עָלַי֮ נַפְשִׁ֪י תִשְׁתּ֫וֹחָ֥ח עַל־כֵּ֗ן אֶ֭זְכָּרְךָ מֵאֶ֣רֶץ יַרְדֵּ֑ן וְ֝חֶרְמוֹנִ֗ים מֵהַ֥ר מִצְעָֽר׃

To my G-d my soul yearns for,

Therefore I will remember You from the land of Jordan,

And the excommunications from the mountain that caused sadness.

תְּהֽוֹם־אֶל־תְּה֣וֹם ק֭וֹרֵא לְק֣וֹל צִנּוֹרֶ֑יךָ כָּֽל־מִשְׁבָּרֶ֥יךָ וְ֝גַלֶּ֗יךָ עָלַ֥י עָבָֽרוּ׃

Abyss to abyss calls to the voice of Your channels,

All of Your storms and waves passed over me.

יוֹמָ֤ם ׀ יְצַוֶּ֬ה ה’ ׀ חַסְדּ֗וֹ וּ֭בַלַּיְלָה שירה [שִׁיר֣וֹ] עִמִּ֑י תְּ֝פִלָּ֗ה לְאֵ֣ל חַיָּֽי׃

In the day G-d commands His loving-kindness,

And at night singing with me a prayer for a Living-Divinity.

אוֹמְרָ֤ה ׀ לְאֵ֥ל סַלְעִי֮ לָמָ֪ה שְׁכַ֫חְתָּ֥נִי לָֽמָּה־קֹדֵ֥ר אֵלֵ֗ךְ בְּלַ֣חַץ אוֹיֵֽב׃

I say to G-d, the bedrock of my existence,

Why have You forgotten me?

Why should I walk in gloom when under the pressure of my enemy?

בְּרֶ֤צַח ׀ בְּֽעַצְמוֹתַ֗י חֵרְפ֥וּנִי צוֹרְרָ֑י בְּאָמְרָ֥ם אֵלַ֥י כָּל־הַ֝יּ֗וֹם אַיֵּ֥ה אֱלֹקיךָ׃

With murder, in my bones, my oppressors have disgraced me,

As they tell me all day “where is Your G-d?”

מַה־תִּשְׁתּ֬וֹחֲחִ֨י ׀ נַפְשִׁי֮ וּֽמַה־תֶּהֱמִ֪י עָ֫לָ֥י הוֹחִ֣ילִי לֵֽ֭אלֹקים כִּי־ע֣וֹד אוֹדֶ֑נּוּ יְשׁוּעֹ֥ת פָּ֝נַ֗י וֵֽאלֹקי׃

What is this sorrow, my soul? 

And over me you uproar, hoping for G-d,

For more gratitude we will praise the salvations of His presence.