Psalm 51: The Purification

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In this Psalm, King David is discussing the aftermath of his sinful encounters with Bat-Sheva, and the repentance process that came after Nathan the prophet came to rebuke him. This accounting of what had occurred hides in it one of the greatest mysteries in King David’s life.

David has sinned and committed adultery with Bat-Sheva. To make things even worse, instead of facing his wrongdoing, he had her husband, Uriah, sent to die in battle. This event propelled King David towards the process of searching for full repentance - to find a way for his soul to be purified and cleansed in the deepest of ways. 

Yet, this process of repentance does not seem to be a simple “I said I was sorry” type of situation, nor was it a “please forgive me Lord” kind of cry. This Psalm describes David as actually placing some of the blame for the chain of events on G-d himself: “For wrong action I had caused, and in my sin You have impregnated me with passion.” Yes, King David admits that he had sinned, but G-d? He just jumped right in and added intense passion into the mix of emotional turmoil David was trying to face. It is as if G-d made it impossible for King David to choose any other way than committing these sins. 

Like G-d’s ability to harden Pharaoh's heart for the sake of a grander divine plan, here we can see that G-d had filled David’s mind and body with such a high degree of passion that would insure the good and wise King will not be able to do anything but sin. The question is - why would G-d do that?

In the Teshuva process, on the long path towards G-d, we try to refine our actions and thoughts. We do our best to return to the truth that can be found in the core of our soul, and we do our best to not follow every craving, emotion and bodily need we experience. But true Teshuvah has a step that requires G-d reaching down to us and ‘scooping’ us into His realm; a ‘gift’ of providing us a peek into the world that is beyond what our typical sensory faculties can compute. I suggest that this is what was happening to King David.

David knows that even this sin was part of G-d’s plan: “For truth You surely desired, and You concealed from my awareness this wisdom.” David says: “You hid this from me, G-d!” and King David writes “I will cause myself to sin… yet I will be purified as You wash me” not until I am simply cleansed from this sin, but “until I am purer than white snow.” In this process of purification of King David’s soul, he finds true happiness and joy from G-d having exposed his “depressed bones.”

After this deep purification process, King David feels reborn: “A pure heart G-d created in me, and a new right spirit is in me.” This was no regular repentance scenario, this was something much deeper. When David says that “I will teach wrongdoers Your ways, and sins will return to You,” he means that now that he fully understands how G-d’s part in sins as well as in good fortune - he will be able to teach others the way to cleanse themselves so that G-d becomes the carrier of the burden of sins, so that all men can live in greater joy as they walk in the path which G-d provides. 

The deepest path to repentance, King David says, does not come from any sacrifice or burnt-offerings - it comes from having a fully broken and depressed heart. If when we fall to our deepest depth of pain we choose to reach out to G-d, in prayer, in song or in asking for forgiveness, G-d will reach down to us to our depressed state and He will purify our souls until we are reborn. 

David describes to us a few types of repentance, Teshuva: The first is the one we all must participate in - asking for forgiveness, acting in ways that are just, true and loving and correcting our mistakes when wrongdoing has been done. The second, is the full Teshuvah when G-d reaches down to purify us, taking us through a process that causes us to shed our past entirely and be reborn as if we have a new spirit in us; this is a process of a great awakening when one naturally turns from a ‘normal person’ to one who feels the obligation of the call of G-d to become a teacher of His ways and to work towards helping others. The third, is the Teshuvah we must all do collectively, and will only be possible to achieve once G-d chooses to have Zion built. 

At the end of it all, this “statement of intent” which King David provides us, describes his awakening after a purification process and being reborn no longer as a king or a great warrior, but as an educator. David shares with us his deep desire to start teaching others, so he can help those who have broken hearts find their way back to G-d, so G-d will carry their sins, and they will once more be able to find joy. 

לַמְנַצֵּ֗חַ מִזְמ֥וֹר לְדָוִֽד׃

For the conductor, a song for David:

בְּֽבוֹא־אֵ֭לָיו נָתָ֣ן הַנָּבִ֑יא כַּֽאֲשֶׁר־בָּ֝֗א אֶל־בַּת־שָֽׁבַע׃

When Nathan the prophet came to him, when he came to Bat-Sheva

חָנֵּ֣נִי אֱלֹקים כְּחַסְדֶּ֑ךָ כְּרֹ֥ב רַ֝חֲמֶ֗יךָ מְחֵ֣ה פְשָׁעָֽי׃

G-d, You had pardoned me in Your loving-kindness,

With an abundance of mercy You have cleaned my misdeeds.

הרבה [הֶ֭רֶב] כַּבְּסֵ֣נִי מֵעֲוֺנִ֑י וּֽמֵחַטָּאתִ֥י טַהֲרֵֽנִי׃

Many times You have washed me from wrongdoings,

and from my sins You have purified me.

כִּֽי־פְ֭שָׁעַי אֲנִ֣י אֵדָ֑ע וְחַטָּאתִ֖י נֶגְדִּ֣י תָמִֽיד׃

For I will know my own misdeeds,

And my sins are always against me.

לְךָ֤ לְבַדְּךָ֨ ׀ חָטָאתִי֮ וְהָרַ֥ע בְּעֵינֶ֗יךָ עָ֫שִׂ֥יתִי לְ֭מַעַן תִּצְדַּ֥ק בְּדָבְרֶ֗ךָ תִּזְכֶּ֥ה בְשָׁפְטֶֽךָ׃

You alone carry my sin, and what is malice in Your eyes I have done,

For that You have righteously spoken Your words, there is merit to Your judgement.

הֵן־בְּעָו֥וֹן חוֹלָ֑לְתִּי וּ֝בְחֵ֗טְא יֶֽחֱמַ֥תְנִי אִמִּֽי׃

For wrong action I had caused,

and in my sin You have impregnated me with passion. 

הֵן־אֱ֭מֶת חָפַ֣צְתָּ בַטֻּח֑וֹת וּ֝בְסָתֻ֗ם חָכְמָ֥ה תוֹדִיעֵֽנִי׃

For truth You surly desired,

And You concealed from my awareness this wisdom.

תְּחַטְּאֵ֣נִי בְאֵז֣וֹב וְאֶטְהָ֑ר תְּ֝כַבְּסֵ֗נִי וּמִשֶּׁ֥לֶג אַלְבִּֽין׃

I will cause myself to sin in moss,

Yet I will be purified as You wash me, until I am purer than white snow.

תַּ֭שְׁמִיעֵנִי שָׂשׂ֣וֹן וְשִׂמְחָ֑ה תָּ֝גֵ֗לְנָה עֲצָמ֥וֹת דִּכִּֽיתָ׃

Let me hear sounds of joy and happiness,

Expose my depressed bones.

הַסְתֵּ֣ר פָּ֭נֶיךָ מֵחֲטָאָ֑י וְֽכָל־עֲוֺ֖נֹתַ֣י מְחֵֽה׃

You consealed Your face from my sins, and all my wrongdoings erased.

לֵ֣ב טָ֭הוֹר בְּרָא־לִ֣י אֱלֹקים וְר֥וּחַ נָ֝כ֗וֹן חַדֵּ֥שׁ בְּקִרְבִּֽי׃

A pure heart G-d created in me,

and a new right spirit is in me.

אַל־תַּשְׁלִיכֵ֥נִי מִלְּפָנֶ֑יךָ וְר֥וּחַ קָ֝דְשְׁךָ֗ אַל־תִּקַּ֥ח מִמֶּֽנִּי׃

Do not cast me away from before You,

and Your holy spirit do not take from me.

הָשִׁ֣יבָה לִּ֭י שְׂשׂ֣וֹן יִשְׁעֶ֑ךָ וְר֖וּחַ נְדִיבָ֣ה תִסְמְכֵֽנִי׃

Return to me the joy of Your salvation, 

and Your benevolent spirit will be what will brace me.

אֲלַמְּדָ֣ה פֹשְׁעִ֣ים דְּרָכֶ֑יךָ וְ֝חַטָּאִ֗ים אֵלֶ֥יךָ יָשֽׁוּבוּ׃

I will teach wrongdoers Your ways,

And sins will return to You.

הַצִּ֘ילֵ֤נִי מִדָּמִ֨ים ׀ אֱ‍ֽלֹקים אֱלֹקי תְּשׁוּעָתִ֑י תְּרַנֵּ֥ן לְ֝שׁוֹנִ֗י צִדְקָתֶֽךָ׃

Save me from bloodshed, G-d, 

Lord of my redemption, my tongue will sing Your righteousness. 

ה’ שְׂפָתַ֣י תִּפְתָּ֑ח וּ֝פִ֗י יַגִּ֥יד תְּהִלָּתֶֽךָ׃

Lord, open my lips and my mouth will say Your praise.

כִּ֤י ׀ לֹא־תַחְפֹּ֣ץ זֶ֣בַח וְאֶתֵּ֑נָה ע֝וֹלָ֗ה לֹ֣א תִרְצֶֽה׃

For You do not wish a sacrifice,

and I provided a burning-offering and You do not want it.

זִֽבְחֵ֣י אֱלֹקים֮ ר֪וּחַ נִשְׁבָּ֫רָ֥ה לֵב־נִשְׁבָּ֥ר וְנִדְכֶּ֑ה אֱ֝לֹקים לֹ֣א תִבְזֶֽה׃

The sacrifice of G-d is a broken spirit,

A broken and depressed heart G-d will not mock.

הֵיטִ֣יבָה בִ֭רְצוֹנְךָ אֶת־צִיּ֑וֹן תִּ֝בְנֶ֗ה חוֹמ֥וֹת יְרוּשָׁלִָֽם׃

Strengthen Your good desire to have Zion,

Build the walls of Jerusalem.

אָ֤ז תַּחְפֹּ֣ץ זִבְחֵי־צֶ֭דֶק עוֹלָ֣ה וְכָלִ֑יל אָ֤ז יַעֲל֖וּ עַל־מִזְבַּחֲךָ֣ פָרִֽים׃

Then You will want the just-sacrifice offering,

And then in a wholesome way, the bulls will be brought unto Your altar.